Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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