yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
