I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
