Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
