and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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