I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
