Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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