First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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