And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
