I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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