Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
