i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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