i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
