I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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