He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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