I cannot find my penis.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
