You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize