I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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