Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
