Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
