I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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