I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
