and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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