Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
