this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
