What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize