She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
