I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
