It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize