I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i think i just lost a toe
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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