Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
