the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
