i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
