If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All the doctor said was why
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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