i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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