i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
