I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
