Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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