I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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