Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
