So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
