this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My pussy is not your playground.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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