Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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