We need to rekindle our bromance
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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