I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
