i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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