I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
