Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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