D3 body, D1 cock
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
