pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
