at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
