That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
