As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can't turn off my feet"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
