It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's never too late to be topless.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
