I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
