oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
