He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
