just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
