I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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